


"I know I want you, but it's a secret I try to hide."

by Amancer_Sunrise



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 15:03:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17368127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amancer_Sunrise/pseuds/Amancer_Sunrise
Summary: Xion places his hands over her heart, and even under the jacket, he can feel the nervous beats. "I think I’ve known for a long time already, but I always denied it as just simply loving you as my dearest friend."





	"I know I want you, but it's a secret I try to hide."

**Author's Note:**

> This was a commission work! Someone asked for very fluffy and cute Roxas/Xion and I tried very hard to deliver!
> 
> Quick thing as this idea already game from a large NYC KH AU that yall better respect!
> 
> ·Roxas is trans. Its not mentioned in this fic but it will carry out into the AU im planning to post one day maybe that Roxas is mixed Puerto Rican/Japanese/Black boy. Projecting onto my son (minues the japanese, just didnt want to take the original set for him out 👌)  
> ·I twisted it for this idea so theres slight VanVen in this au with no correlation to being related (in my other au they are in fact brothers and not a ship do not fret) its not heavy but if you squint you could see it :)  
> ·Cheezits

_New York City,_

_(Uh-huh)_

_Center of the Universe._

_(Sang it girl!)_

_Times are shitty,_

_But I'm pretty sure they can't get worse._

_(I hear dat'...)_

_It's a comfort to know,_

_When you're singing the Hit The Road blues_

_That anywhere else you could possibly go_

_After New York would be...!_

_...a pleasure cruise_.

A girl sits on the nearly empty F train, her headphones blasting music in her ears, allowing her to ignore the busy New Yorkers adventuring deep into the heart of the city that never sleeps. Others are ignoring the sounds around them with music like her or making small chatter amongst other friends. Some seem to be going to work, others just traveling. With every stop closer to Manhattan, more and more people fill the small train car, squeezing closer and closer together as if they were sardines.

The black haired girl holds her bag to her chest, taking a quick glimpse at the time on her phone.

_8:37._

She’s running on some amazing time, having promised to meet a friend at 10:00 to hang out around Manhattan for the last couple days of their winter vacation. Her blue eyes look up at the Stops, counting down in her head just how many stops she has until she can finally get out of this cluttered train. _'Avenue N is the next stop'_ , she thinks to herself, _'Finally... 5 more stops till Court Square...'_

The feeling of vibrations in her pocket startles the young female, taking the phone out and seeing it to be a call from her best friend. Her heart warms and her stomach feels suddenly full of butterflies at the name. With a smile on her face, she swipes to answer the call.

"Roxas!"

_"Nope, the Sandman."_

And even for such a weak joke, she chuckles still, her cheeks flushed to a light shade of red upon hearing his voice.

_"Of course it's me! Just wanted to know how far you are, Xion."_

Said girl takes a glimpse at the stop list, but with too many people surrounding it, she quickly takes a look out the window. She sees they have already passed Avenue N and Bay Parkway, the train just pulling into Avenue I. "No worries, Roxas. I'm transferring to the G train in 2 more stops."

 _"Aw, you're gonna be extra early for me?_ " the boy on the other line says, and this doesn't stop her cheeks going a darker shade of red. "H-hey!" Xion says, defending herself, "I'm always early!"

And with that comment, Roxas now lets out a chuckle, and oh my god, Xion's heart beats faster; it's so loud that she can hear the pounding in her own ears, making her paranoid of Roxas suddenly hearing just how hard her heart was slamming against her ribcage. She swallows nervously before making her own anxious chuckle. Thankfully, Roxas doesn't notice the strained tone of it. _"Okay, let me know when you're around my area of Brooklyn, okay? There may have been a small change in our plans. I'll explain when you get here."_

"Oh?" Xion questions, her curiosity wanting to know right at that moment.

 _"Yeah. It's nothing bad,"_ he responds, _"Just a small, but good, I promise, change in plans!"_

Xion smiles and nods her head, even though Roxas can’t see either of those actions.

"Okay!" she says, "I'll see you when I get there! Talk to you later, Roxas!"

_"See ya', Xion!"_

And with that, they hang up. The smile never falters from her face as she looks up to see just how many stops she has left, only for her face to change into shock just as the announcement starts from the speakers.

**_"This is a Manhattan bound F train. Next stop will be Smith 9th Street."_ **

She really wanted a seat after transferring. She sighs at herself, really have been distracted talking to her best friend.

Xion sighs again in annoyance, standing and making her way to the correct train doors so she can escape quickly. She quickly checks her phone to make sure she’s still on slightly good time.

_8:52._

* * *

 

Roxas hangs up on the other side, having not really gotten out of bed during the whole conversation. His hair is a curly mess and he needs a shower to actually wake up, but he needs to meet Xion at McCarran Park. He knows the walk is about 15 minutes from his house, and if he catches it just in time, it would be a 5 minute bus ride.

He loses himself in thoughts so full of nothing but his best friend that he doesn't take notice of his door swinging open, and someone with a face similar to his own walks in, arms crossed. "Roxas!" the other calls out, causing Roxas to be snapped out of his thoughts.

"Ventus," he says with his voice laced with annoyance, "How many times do I have to say to please knock before coming in?"

Ventus grins, placing his hands behind his head. "I did. _You_ just were ignoring me."

" _Maybe_ there was a reason."

His twin lets out a laugh before inviting himself not only into Roxas' room, but onto his bed. "Oh, yeah, come in and lay down on my bed. Make yourself comfortable while you're at it too," Roxas groans, sitting up in annoyance.

"Don't mind if I do," Ventus says, digging in his pocket and pulling out a honey bun. While struggling to open it, Ventus asks, "Don't you need to meet up with your friend?"

Roxas rolls his eyes. "Don't you need to take your insulin shot before Vanitas yells at you again?"

Ventus shoots a playful glare before saying, "I'm _serious_."

"So am I."

Ventus laughs again, slightly louder than before. "My blood sugar is fine. 234."

"That's not..." Roxas sighs before throwing his hands up in the air, "Whatever. When Vanitas finds out, it's your funeral." Ventus takes a large bite out of his honey bun before turning to Roxas.

"So," he says in between chewing, "You're gonna actually take the free movie tickets Sora offered and take your friend on that date?"

After hearing that word, Roxas flushes deep red, reaching over and snatching his twin’s snack. "It's not a date, Ven", he says as he begins eating the honey bun.

"It's iced, you know."

"I have working taste buds, _you know_."

"You hate iced honey buns."

Roxas forces himself to swallow the piece before saying, "It's to spite you for saying that I was taking my best friend out on a date."

His twin simply shrugs and takes out another snack from his pocket. Roxas stares in disbelief as Ventus replies, "I dunno, Roxas... when you told Sora and I what you two would be doing today... sure as hell sounded like a date."

Roxas crosses his arms.

"It's **_not_**!"

"Okay, then," Ventus says, opening his White Cheddar Cheezits, "Refresh my memory on what your plans for the two of you are today."

Roxas huffs in annoyance. "Well," he says, pointing Ventus' old snack at him, "If you must know. We're gonna hang around the pier in Long Island City for a while."

"Uh-huh."

"Then we're gonna go to Manhattan to get something to eat at Vanitas' job because he got us reservations."

Ventus shoves chips in his mouth, making a _‘mmhm’_ sound as Roxas continues on. "Then, thanks to Sora convincing Riku to get me those free movie tickets, I'm gonna take her to the AMC Theater on 14th street, and we're gonna go see the new Spiderman movie."

Ventus gives him a deadpan look, stopping his chewing of the chips. The silence thickens between the two before Ventus sighs out, "And that doesn't sound like a date to you? Like... at all?"

Roxas instantly goes red again, hitting his brother with the honey bun in hand. "It's not a date!!! I just want to take my best friend out-"

_"On a date."_

**_"VANITAS, VENTUS IS HIDING SNACKS AGAIN!!!"_ **

**_"ROXAS!"_ **

An annoyed voice can be heard from the kitchen as Ventus winces at the yelling of his name. _**"VENTUS!!!!"**_

He turns to glare towards Roxas and sticks his middle finger up as he mouths, _"Thanks, asshole."_ Roxas does a mock bow as he feels the weight on his bed change and the door to his room closing, signaling Ventus finally left his room. Roxas shakes his head as he hears Vanitas reprimanding his brother in the next room before checking the time.

Panic settles in his core as he sees not only the time, but 3 missed calls and a couple of text messages.

_9:42._

Roxas unlocks his phone and opens his text messages.

_From Xion✨: Hey! The G train took for EVER also I may have missed my stop earlier talking to you acacsvsv bless AT &T service!! But I'm off the train at last!❤ (9:25)_

_From Xion✨: Roooooooxxxxxaaaaas answer me :( (9:35)_

_From Xion✨: WELP! I guess I'm heading to your house now! Hopefully you didn't fall back to sleep >.< i got off at Lorimer, SO i should be there in 10-15 minutes! See you in a bit!☺ (9:40)_

Roxas hisses through his teeth before quickly hopping off the bed and swinging the door to his room open. He runs into the bathroom to quickly freshen up entirely in the shower, and he's in the middle of doing a second rinse of his hair when he hears a knock at the front door and his brother announcing that he'll get it.

Part of him is praying that Vanitas' brother, Sora, came over to visit today and it’s not Xion needing to wait longer than necessary. God damn it, he blames Ventus!

There's a knock at the bathroom, and of course, he hears Vanitas' voice on the other side. "Roxas! Your friend is here." He groans, attempting to finish washing up as he calls out, "Yeah, thanks! Have her wait in my room, Vanitas?"

After what feels like the longest shower of his life, having washed up, brushed his teeth, and washed his face, he finally turns it off. He grabs a towel and wraps it around his wet body, shivering when the chill air of the house hits his skin.

Swinging his door open, he sees Xion face him, and he sees the way her face lights up. He can't help but have the same reaction before he sees her face change into a smug look. " _Nooooow_ look at who's taking forever." Roxas frowns.

"Blame Ventus," he says, closing the door behind him. "He was being annoying and bothering me." Xion chuckles behind her hand. "No worries. I came in to Ventus thanking me for showing up. Getting chewed out by Vanitas."

" _Yeah_ , because he's a diabetic idiot."

Xion laughs, probably a little too hard, and both she and Roxas catch it, though neither of them say anything. Instead, she turns her back towards Roxas. "Let me know when you have your underwear on, at least, and if you need help with your binder shirt."

Roxas utters a quick _thank you_ as he quickly lotions up his skin with cocoa butter and then proceeds to quickly get dressed. "So!", Xion says, still not facing Roxas, "What was our 'change of plans'?" Roxas just gets his binder shirt to fit comfortably and begins to put his pants on as he says, "Oh! Thank you for reminding me! Also, it's safe to turn around." Xion turns quickly, her blue eyes wide in curiosity as Roxas buttons his pants and turns to his dresser.

"I had to pull some strings", he says, grabbing the tickets. "I know how badly you've wanted to see the new Spiderman movie, but it was completely sold out everywhere you went."

Xion's face turns into shock and surprise as her eyes widen. Roxas takes a seat next to her, showing the fully paid 2 free movie tickets. His face suddenly feels too warm for comfort as he continues, "After talking about it with Vanitas' brother, Sora, he spoke to his best friend, Riku, who is a manager at the theater close to 14th street, and well...

"Would you like to go-"

Xion cuts him off as she begins to flap her hands excitedly, simply making excited noises as she smiles wide. Roxas smiles softly at her, nodding his head at her excitement.

"Alright!" he says, and his next words process too quickly for his brain to exactly stop it from slipping past his lips. "It's a date!"

Both parties freeze, Roxas' face going nearly as red as Xion's older brother’s hair, the reality of what he said quickly hitting him in the face. Xion stares at him once more, her eyes wide and her face a softer shade of red as her mouth is slightly dropped in shock.

"I-I...! Uh," Roxas starts, his brain trying to rack up any sort of backup plan to get him out of this and his stupid choice of words, and god damn it, he blames Ventus!!!

Wait.

Roxas turns to Xion and quickly begins explaining, "V-Ven kept addressing it like that!" and explaining to her that it was a date but as friends! Not like an actual girlfriend-boyfriend date and oh god Roxas' lungs aren't giving him enough air and it's too hot. Is it him or is it too hot and oh damn, Xion won't stop staring. He's freaking out, now unable to form any words as his brain shuts down on him.

In his stuttering mess still, Xion reaches her hand to gently cup his own as she realizes that her heart was about to make a grand escape through her chest. Roxas shuts up almost immediately as Xion looks away from him, her face going slightly more red as she whispers, "It's okay Roxas... if you, uh... w-want to treat this like a date?"

She barely lifts her head to look back at him, and Roxas is quite pleased with that because somehow, this fool manages to create a whole new shade of red with how flushed his skin is.

She lets go of his hand suddenly, looking away and turning her back completely towards him as she quickly forces out, "O-or not!!! You don't have to treat it that way!!! Hahaha... ha..." She covers her face with both her hands as she whispers to herself quickly, " _godimustsoundlikeafreakingidiot...."_

Roxas, however, finally manages a smile, unable to look at her as well, even if it's just her back. He scratches his cheek sheepishly, as he finally responds, "Ha... okay then... it's, uh... it's a date..."

* * *

 

The cold winds by the Pier blow Xions hair around as she and Roxas walk along it, making small chatter as they go. The waters below them are hitting the rocks gently, barely creating any disturbance for either party.

After both of them confirm that this is, in fact, a date, they begin to joke about how Xion asked her brother to simply hang out, not go on a date with her best friend. Roxas makes comments about how his twin brother was making fun of him for planning this out like a date to begin with, which is why the words, "It's a date!" slipped out.

As they continue walking on the pier, Xion's heart fills with a warmth and light she has... never felt with anyone else. Even compared people in the past she's had crushes on... Roxas makes her feel completely different... makes her heart feel...

She stops in her tracks, realizing what this utterly pure thing she feels for the other boy is.

He makes her feel completely whole and completely overflowing with...

He stops and turns towards her, his eyebrows raised. "Xion?" he calls to her, "Is everything okay?"

Her hand clutches into a fist above her heart, her brain racing at a million miles per hour as she tries to figure out the right words to say to him. Maybe that's why... deep inside she wanted this to be a date, even before the movies were involved--even back when he had simply invited her to hang out and have dinner later on in the evening. Her heart had yearned for it to be a date because of how strongly her feelings for Roxas had intensified over time, having gotten so attached so quickly.

Roxas looks concerned, stepping back to her. "Hey..." he asks, "Xion... are you okay…?"

She finally lets out a small smile as she looks at what she believes is the most handsome person she has ever met. His heart is filled with nothing but light, always wanting to do so much for those he cares deeply for. She fell hard for his light, fell hard for him.

"You're..." she finally starts, "You're amazing, Roxas... do you know that?"

He's completely taken by surprise, blinking a couple of times at her. She continues, letting out a nervous laugh.

"We've already crossed the bridge of taking this to the date label... let me try to cross it further," she whispers, gently taking Roxas's hands and entwining them with her own. "If you would... allow me to..?"

Xion’s eyes meet his, and, as shy as he may be, he nods his head, holding her hand as well.

Xion swallows the lump in her throat. "While walking with you, I've... come to realize something..." She looks down as she continues on. "Just how great and amazing of a person you truly are, Roxas. Ever since we met, not once have you doubted anything I could do. Not once have you belittled me for mistakes or made me feel ashamed of truly being myself and fully expressing myself in any way, no matter how silly or insane it may have sounded to others."

Roxas chuckles, letting go of one her hands to twirl his curly hair around his fingers. "It would have been a little hypocritical of me to try and shut down anything you’ve wanted to share." He returns to holding her hand, his smile never faltering. "I'm glad I've made you feel like this."

Xion holds slightly tighter to his hands. "I'm not done..." she chuckles. "Almost, but not quite."

She finally meets his gaze, "Roxas... you’ve given me a chance to see just how pure and golden your heart is, just how beautiful and brightly your personality shines through when someone gets to know you. And I..."

She places his hands over her heart, and even under the jacket, he can feel the nervous beats. "I think I’ve known for a long time already, but I always denied it as just simply loving you as my dearest friend." Roxas gasps, his lips slightly opened as he is unable to find words of his own. Xion continues, finding the intense confidence in herself to get it off her chest. "But... now I realize... that isn't the case. While I do love you as my dearest friend, my heart and mind loves you as something... more... that I love you as truly something... more, Roxas."

He absorbs her words, as they both stand in silence for a minute or two, Xion's confidence quickly plummeting with every second that passes.

"I'm sorry, did I come out too-"

The sun slowly paints the sky in hues of purple and orange, the sound of car horns in the far distance as some people walk by, making idle chatter.

Roxas kisses Xion, and he feels her lips move against his as their hands hold on to each other so tightly that words can't express enough how much and how dearly Xion is to Roxas.

When the kiss breaks, Xion's eyes flutter open. Roxas puts the smile back on his face as he responds. "It's hard to put into words, and I... hope that was okay..."

Xion smiles softly back at him.

"Always..."

Roxas shifts to her side, holding her hand tightly. "Come on," he smiles. "I think we have a dinner to get to." Xion chuckles.

"Lead the way, Roxas."

**Author's Note:**

> As stated above, this work came due to someone commissioning me! I have emergency comissions open rn and if anyone wants to commission me, you can find me at @WayfinderGreen on twitter and shoot me a DM! I'll list prices and we can take it from there!
> 
> Hopefully you enjoyed this piece of work and consider commissioning me to help ya boy ! Thank you!!!!
> 
> I do not own the writes to KH.
> 
> Written for: @AmberKeyblader on twitter!


End file.
